


Everybody Stay Calm

by orphan_account



Series: BorderVerse AU [4]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Shooting, Shooting Guns, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A Massive Green Hand Is Descending Upon Sanctuary.Attempting To Bring It Down, The Crystal Raiders, Finally Realize What The Distorted And Unintelligible Final Words Of Lapis Lazuli's Message Were,HOMEWORLD IS COMING! HOMEWORLD IS COMING!Homeworld Is Here.(Steven Universe & Borderlands Crossover AU)





	Everybody Stay Calm

**The Return**

Getting the people of Sanctuary to flee their homes as a large green hand came ever closer with each passing minute, was unsurprisingly easier to talk about doing then actually doing. Almost every person had some reason to stay and test the odds instead of doing the rational thing and actually leaving.

Moxxi refused to leave her bar and have her clientele raid not only her booze but the collection of risqué photos she had of herself.

 

_“Don’t worry, sugah. I’ve survived a lot worse than a giant green hand in the sky.” Moxxi said reassuringly flashing Steven a kind smile._

 

Marcus found the idea laughable and stated that his shop was not only a heavily protected fort but that he wasn’t going to lose the opportunity to make money because a giant hand had filled the sky.

 

_“This is one of those ridiculous Crystal Gem problems.” Marcus scoffed, “They’ll sing a song, blow up the problem, and then buy some ammo. Like they always do.”_

 

Dr. Zed, well he was one of the few who was packed up and ready to go.

 

_“The people are going to need a doctor.” He stated calmly before adding, “Or someone who was a doctor.”_

 

It wasn’t until Roland mentioned the possibility of a repeat at New Haven, after a single minor blast from the ship, took down Sanctuary's shields, that everyone began moving and started packing up Outrunners and getting the hell out of dodge.

Much to his dismay Steven was one of those people. Crammed into the passenger seat of Greg’s modified Bandit Technical with Tiny Tina, who had dropped by Sanctuary to see Roland, following after the group of civilians led by Roland and Lilith, who headed to the Dust to temporarily set up camp.

He watched, for as long as he could out of the mirror, the Crystal Gems, who were dragging out his mother’s laser light cannons to the front of Temple.

“We should be helping them.” Steven said quietly.

“Steven, it’s too dangerous.” Greg said seriously before sighing, “The best way you can help is by staying safe.”

“Alright.” Steven replied dejectedly.

“Don’t worry Sthoo-ball. They’ll deal with this and then you can head back to the Temple and crash.” Greg said reassuringly, “Heck we’ll probably all look back at this day and laugh.”

“Sure we will.” Steven said quietly looking at the giant walls of Sanctuary in the mirror, “Homeworld sent the giant hand, did they?”

“Maybe. I don’t know, Steven.” Greg answered honestly.

“Could Lapis be on the ship?” Tina inquired breaking her unusual silence.

“Maybe.” Steven replied somberly, as he began to think about Lapis's message.

  
_Steven, Roland, Tina! Get off of Pandora! They are sending *bzzrt* to *bzzrt* not safe! It’s not safe! Homeworld is *bzzrt* HOMEWORLD *BZZRT*_

  
“-even. Steven. Steven. STEVEN!” Tina shouted making Steven and Greg both jump, “Heh. Sorry.”

“What do you need?” Steven asked.

“Can we switch sides? Please.” She replied softly.

“Um sure.” Steven said as slowly stood up and scooted over to the left side of the Bandit Technical, “There we go.”

“Perfect.” Tina said happily as she looked out the window into the mirror, “Steven, hold on.” She ordered as she grabbed his arm.

“What?” Greg and Steven in unison as Tina yanked open the door and jumped out of it, dragging Steven with her.

Before they hit the ground Steven instinctively formed a bubble around them.

“Tina! What were you thinking?” Steven shouted.

“Don’t worry, girl. We’re gonna help the Gems kick some butt-butt!” Tina shouted as the bubbled popped, “Come on! Let’s go!” She ordered as she began to run off.

Looking over his shoulder Steven saw Greg starting to reverse and head towards them. Looking forward he saw Tina running as fast as she could to where the Gems were.

Which is where he should be.

He was a Crystal Ge-,

No!

He was a Crystal Raider, after all.

“Tina! Wait up!” He shouted as he began to run after her, not noticing the burning heat in his gem or the energy pulsing through his tattoos as he rapidly closed the distance between them.

\---

“Damn it.” Roland snapped as he looked back and saw Steven, following closely after Tina, towards where the Gems had been setting up the laser light cannons to deal with the giant hand shaped ship.

“ROLAND! TINA AND STEVEN ARE HEADING TO HELP THE GEMS!” Greg shouted over his ECHO device, “I’m gonna try and get them now!”

“Greg don’t.” Roland ordered, “I’ll do it. You get to safety.” He barked into his ECHO device not bothering to listen to Greg's response as he turned to Lilith who was shaking her head as she drove.

“No. You are not going back there.” She ordered sternly.

“Lilith, I got no choice.” Roland replied calmly, “I’m gonna take the Outrunner

“Fine. Just be safe.” She ordered as she brought the Outrunner to a stop.

“Will do.” Roland replied as he hopped into the driver’s seat and sped off.

"Roland! What the Hell is going on?" Axton questioned over the ECHO.

"I'm going to get Steven and Tina! They trying to go help the Gems!" He barked back, "Don't worry about it. Just stay focused on getting everyone the Hell out of here. Hyperion can strike at moment!"

\---

“FUCK!” Pearl screeched as she pulled her hair watching as the large green colored hand ship literally absorbed the combined blast of all four of Rose’s laser light cannons and continued at a, now evenfaster pace, towards them, “FUCKING FUCK!”

“OOOOOH! Pearl said a bad word!” Amethyst teased as she foolishly tried to fire another round at the ship, “Shit! Sorry.” She added as she saw the looks Garnet and Pearl were both giving her.

“Garnet, what are we going to do?” Pearl asked concerned.

“We wait for them to land and take it from there.” Garnet replied as she watched the ship rapidly close the distance between them, “Someone also has to get Steven and Tina out of here.”

“But Steven and Tiny Tina aren’t here.” Pearl said before she heard someone shouting.

“SHAWTY! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!” Tina cheered from her perch on Steven's back as he ran up to them.

“Steven!” Pearl shouted, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” She screeched.

“I’m a Crystal Raider too and I’m not gonna let you handle this alone.” Steven replied.

“Okay.” Amethyst said slowly, “Why's Tina here?”

“Girl! I’m old-school Crimson Lance and gonna blow some stuff up!” Tina said excitedly.

“Fair ‘nuff.” Amethyst said with a shrug.

“Steven it’s far too dangerous for you to be here.” Pearl explained angrily, “And well the same goes for you Tina.” She added bitterly.

“Steven, Tina. She’s right.” Garnet said seriously, “But Steven you are a Crystal Raider and Tina, I’d be a horrible friend if I didn’t let you blow stuff up." She said with a smile, "Besides we need all the help we can get.”

“DID SOMEONE SAY HELP?” Claptrap chimed in as he rolled up right as Roland swerved to miss him and flipped the Outrunner in the process.

“And they say I’m a bad driver.” Amethyst muttered as she ran up to the Outrunner that Roland was crawling out of.

“Are you okay?” Steven asked as he ran up to him.

“Fine, kid.” Roland replied as he rubbed his shoulder, “But that’s not really important. We need to get you and Tina out of….here.” He said the last word in a whisper as the ship landed, “Damn it. Stay behind me.” He ordered Steven and Tina who both moved to his left and right side respectively.

No one said anything as the middle finger dropped onto the sand and a thin landing dock extended forth from it.

"I, the humble and BELOVED! Leader of the Crystal Raiders will defeat these FIENDS with the power of..... DANCE!" Claptrap said as he rolled out in front of the Crystal Gems, stopping in front of the landing dock of the large hand shaped ship.

"Wait, what?" Steven asked confused as Garnet just shook her head while Amethyst groaned and drug her palm down her face.

"That moronic robot is going to get us killed." Pearl hissed angrily as she saw three figures emerge from the hand shaped ship.

"You're quite right about that." Roland uttered somberly as he saw Tina begin to dance with Claptrap out of the corner of his eye, "Tina."

"What? Oh right. Sorry." She said with a chuckle.

On the left was a broad shouldered gem wearing a large collared black cape with red trim. Large red stripes covered various parts of her large orange frame. Her sliver like gem was where her nose should have been.

On the right was Peridot. She was tall and slender but where her elbows and knees ended there were large robotic limbs that were a dark green color. Elongated lime green cylinders floated above the end of the robotic arms.

And in the center was Lapis who looked slightly disheveled and looking at the Crystal Gems with a look of unmatched distain and hatred until her eyes landed on Tiny Tina, Roland, and Steven. The moment her eyes landed on them her eyes were filled with worry and concern as if she couldn't believe that they were there on the beach with the Crystal Gems.

The air was filled with a tense silence as both sides stared one another done.

"WUB WUB WUB! UH! WUB WUB! YEAH! HOW! ABOUT! THAT! UH! WUB! WUB WUB! DROP! ... WUB WUB!" Claptrap suddenly began breaking the silence as he started to dance, "UH! WUB! WUB WUB, WUB!"

"These pathetic defects are what have been giving you trouble. What a waste of my time." The large gem scoffed as she looked at the Crystal Gems and then at Claptrap, "Pathetic. I never figured that Rose Quartz would be so cowardly to send a CL4P-TP to face me instead of facing me herself."

"Well it doesn't matter who she sent." Peridot sneered as she looked down at the gems, "All that matters if these are in fact the rebels who have been breaking my robonoids and conspiring with," Peridot looked at Lapis with utter disgust, "the prisoner."

"They aren't." Lapis lied as Peridot fired a warning shot at Roland who had begun to aim his SMG at her.

"Don't lie to us brat." The large gem growled, "Tell us the truth and we may not have to harvest you when this all done. Besides what's the point of protecting this shameless display," She hissed as she scowled at Garnet, "or this defective, misshapen pearl who should have been shattered upon her emergence, or one of the Beta Kindergarten’s, pathetic, defective rejects." She hissed waiting a moment for Lapis to reply before scoffing as she said nothing and turned to look Steven, Roland, and Tina. Her face contorted into a malicious grin that would have made Handsome Jack's blood run cold, "Heh. Rose Quartz even had the gall to send these organic pests to fight her battles instead of acting like a true quartz and coming herself." Turning to Peridot, "We should just shatter them." She suggested, a malicious grin that sent chills up Steven's spine. "That would be an effective way to deal with them." Peridot agreed nodding her head. "But make their precious leader watch before you reduce it to scrap." Jasper growled, as she glared at Claptrap.

"I will do as I see fit, Jasper!" Peridot sneered, "Now what about the prisoner?" Peridot asked as she gave Lapis a dismissive look, "She has rountinely refused to comply with my demands." Peridot noted as she powered up her blaster to intimidate the Pearl who was yet again inching foreward towards them "Just harvest her like Yellow Diamond ordered." Jasper replied as she began to drag Lapis behind her, "Let's go brat!" She growled.

"STEVEN!" Lapis shouted as she was forcibly drug away by Jasper, "ROLAND, TINA! RUN!"

"WE ARE THE CRYSTAL RAIDERS AND WE WILL NEVER RUN!" Claptrap shouted as he stopped dancing and waved his fist, "ISN'T THAT RIGHT MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS?"

Garnet just shook her head again as Amethyst and Roland groaned and Tina laughed.

"That idiotic robot is not our leader." Pearl shouted after Jasper, "HE'S NOT!"

Steven on the other hand watched in shock as Lapis was drug away and Peridot fired another warning shot this time at Pearl who had been discreetly moving forward before she had spoke.

"Incredible 'Dance' prowess aside you are no match for our superior technology and strategy." Peridot sneered as she stepped back onto the hand ship.

"UH! YEAH! UH!" Claptrap shouted as the landing dock withdrew from the sands shortly before the hand ship took flight.

“What are they doing?” Amethyst inquired, as she dropped her pistol.

“Whatever it is it’s not good.” Roland stated as the hand ship's pointer and index finger aimed at them while the ring and pinky fingers curled into the palm, before a bright green energy began to emanate from it's finger tips. “EVERYONE FIND COVER!” He roared as he scooped up Tina and began to run further up the sands towards the Temple.

“STEVEN!” Garnet shouted as she went to grab him only for the hand ship to fire the large ball of accumulated energy at them.

Everyone closed their eyes and gritted their teeth waiting for impending impact and the quick death that would presumably follow after only to hear a loud BANG! instead. Opening their eyes they saw a not only a large, pink tinted, shield created by Steven but the pink rose thorn tattoos on the left side of his body illuminated and pulsed with energy as a gigantic pair of ethereal, pink, wings unwrapped themselves from his shield then folded onto his back as he said two simple words before falling to his knees,

“Phase shield.”

“He’s a...a Siren.” Roland said shocked as Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet stared at Steven in surprise, “But that’s not possible.”

“DAMN SON! THAT WAS THE SHIZNITS!” Tina cheered.

“Did anybody see how I just stopped that energy blast?” Claptrap asked before he began to dance, “Uh! I am the WHAAAAAA!” He screamed as the hand ship landed once again, “RRRRRUUUUUNNNNN!” He shouted rolling off.

“ROSE QUARTZ!” Jasper growled from the top of landing dock, “I should have known that you would have taken such a disgusting and pathetic form. After all you fought for these pathetic creatures.” Grinning wickedly she threw her cape to the side and created her crash helmet.

Before Steven could register what was happening he felt something whoosh by him, as gun shots were fired, before someone let out a loud grunt of pain. Turning her saw Jasper standing over Roland with a smug smirk.

“ROLAND!” Steven and Tina shouted.

“Over five thousand years and you animals are still moronic.” Jasper hissed before ducking under a wild swing from Garnet and delivering one of her own to Garnet’s gut, “You’ll need to better than that ABOMINATION!” Jasper spat as she threw another punch making Garnet stagger before a third punch knocked her into the sand.

“Like this!” Pearl shouted as she flew through the air and stabbed her spear in the ground Jasper was standing, “What th…UGH” She grunted as Amethyst was thrown into her.

“This chick's a badass.” Amethyst groaned as she stood up.

“How?” Pearl inquired.

“She caught my whip and SHIT!” She shouted as she pushed Pearl to the side taking the full force of Jasper’s spin dash, knocking her ground.

“TINA! GET STEVEN AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” Roland ordered as he stood up and drew a pistol.

“Do as he says.” Garnet ordered before Tina and Steven could protest, “We’ll take care of her.” She added coldly as her gauntlets appeared.

“You think you would have learned the first time.” Jasper growled as she looked at Roland and Garnet.

Summoning her crash helmet she charged at the duo, not even faltering as Roland’s bullets ripped through her form. Cracking a wild grin she slammed into Garnet shoving her back slightly before narrowly dodging a shot aimed at her gem. Grabbing Roland’s arm, she threw him to the ground before stomping on it making him release a loud scream of pain before slamming her fist into his face breaking several bones and knocking him unconscious. Looking up she was surprised to see a large gauntleted fist collide with her face knocking her to the ground. As she shook her head and began to sit up she heard a deafening war cry fill her ears moments before a spear pierced her shoulder making her form become show static and flicker briefly before she began to laugh. A gutteral laugh that left Pearl shocked and sputtering before she kneeled slightly and tried to no avail to rip her spear from Jasper's shoulder. Still laughing Jasper grabbed Pearl by her throat and stood up. Everyone watched in shock as she easily ripped the spear out of her shoulder and embedded it into the ground before ramming the back of Pearl's head upon it's spiral tip. The spear’s tip emerged from her left eye making her release a choked gasp as her form rapidly flickered and distorted before poofing. Her creamy white, oval gem floating in the air momentarily before it fell to the ground with a thump.

“PEARL!” Amethyst shouted as she began to rapidly throw lashes at Jasper who shrugged them off with a smirk before catching the whip, “Shit! Not again!” Amethyst shouted before Jasper yanked her forward into her fist, knocking her to the ground.

Stomping on Amethyst's chest, Jasper let out a hearty laugh, as she looked at her deep cut gem. It would be beyond easy to smash that waste of materials from the Beta kindergarten. It would be a mercy to shatter this defect, she thought as Jasper lifted her off the ground and deftly wrapped Amethyst's whip tightly around her throat. As she began to claw at the whip crushing her throat, Jasper head butted her before she began to use her as a flail to keep Garnet at a distance before flinging her towards the hand ship where a single blast rung out, leaving Amethyst's gem to fall on to the dock with an almost unheard thump.

“Give me Rose Quartz and I’ll let you continue your pathetic exis…ARRGH!” Jasper roared as an explosion rung out from the side of her.

“LEAVE THEM ALONE!” Steven commanded as he stood beside Tina, wielding a flickering pink shield on his right arm as Tina tossed a grenade, with a cartoon Cookie Cat painted on it, up and down in her right palm.

“I have waited over five thousand years for this.” Jasper bellowed eagerly as Garnet shouted “GET OUT OF HERE!”

As Jasper began rushing towards Tina and Steven, a loud shot rung out tossing up the sand in front of her feet, bringing her to a standstill.

“Leave. Them. Alone!” Garnet hissed, her teeth tightly clenched, and an aura of electrical energy enveloping her left fist.

“Peridot deal with them.” Jasper ordered as she turned to face Garnet, had one of her large blue and red revolver drawn in her right hand. “Hmph. Pathetic.” Jasper scoffed as her form flickered for a moment.

“I could say the same for you.” Garnet snapped as she lined up a shot, only for Jasper to disappear in a rapid spin dash that was zig zagging and going in various directions around her before disappearing completely.

Looking around and listening for any suspicious noises, she found it hard to focus with the sound of Peridot's shouting, Steven and Tina's jeering, the deafening explosions of Tina's grenades, the crackling of the electricity that coated her left fist, and faint sound of Roland's labored breathing.

Taking a deep breath she blocked out the distracting and chaotic sounds of battle and began to focus on the faint ambient noises of Pandora, around her. The breeze softly blowing, the loud screech of a rak in the distance, the nearly inaudible sound of the grains of sand shifting slightly underneath her feet.

Jumping back as a faint shifting noise rapidly grew into near deafing digging from underneath her, she watched in temporary awe Jasper burst forth from the sand in a rapid vertical spin dash.

She quickly fired three shots at Jasper only for them not to connect as she shot to the ground, spraying her with sand.

Breaking out of the spin dash she lunged at Garnet, knocking her to the ground.

While Jasper was throwing punches and rolling in the sand with Garnet who was trying to get a shot off, Peridot was facing difficulty with containing the two primitive animals, the Tina and the Steven, which according to that brute Jasper was actually a rose quartz, in disguise.

“QUIT THROWING EXPLOSIVE DEVICES!” Peridot snapped as she attempted to fire a energy blast at them only for her limb enhancer to beep, “STARS! HOW IS IT OVERHEATING?!” She hissed before a flickering shield hit her in the gut, knocking her to the ground before it disappeared, “Stars!”

“WE QUIT THROWING EXPLOSIVE DEVICES, SUCKA!” Tina shouted before laughing maniacally.

“Yeah!” Steven cheered, “We can do this!” he added excitedly as saw Garnet boot Jasper off of her from the corner of his eye, “GO GARNET!” He cheered as he watched her bound off her hands and onto her feet.

“YEAH YOU GO GIRL!” Tina shouted, before whistling loudly.

Pushing herself up Garnet couldn’t help but smile as she heard Steven and Tina cheer her on and that they were both okay. She just needed to take down Jasper and then well the rest would be a walk in the park. She could easily take Peridot and then get everyone to saf-

She didn’t finish her thought as a large fist collided with her jaw making her stumble back and lose her grip on her revolver. Regaining her footing she looked up and saw the crimson red and icy blue painted barrel pointed directly at her face. As she went to grab the barrel and shove it out of the way she saw a bright flash before the world began to distort before completely fading into darkness.


End file.
